Help! I woke up this morning and..?!?! HELP?

So last night I was out partying and that's all I remember. I woke up this morning to find some hobo looking guy in my bed facing me with wide eyes and a huge smile. I started yelling at him to get the f*** out of my house but his reply was "Heheh. I like doorknobs." when I went to call the police I noticed the phone lines were cut in half. I also don't have any neighbors that I could stay at. He's running around naked right now screaming "LEPERCONS!! LEPERCONS ARE CHASING ME!!" It's seriously annoying. Anyone help??