Why is there an old man under my bed?

Yeah, when I tell him to get out from under there, he is like "uuggghhhh". At first I was like wtf? But have gotten use to him over a period of time. I am a heavy sleeper, and well I woke up early once because of alarm on wrong, and he was on top of me. Rubbing my leg, with his tongue in my ear. Sometimes when I'm just sitting down on my bed on my laptop top, I start hearing a tapping sounds, and he starts rubbing my toe, when I put it at the end of the bed. Has anyone else got this problem? How can I get rid off him? He said he would give me 3 wishes, if he could stay and not to tell anyone He is there like my mom or dad. He say he is a magic hobo and always wants me to still my dads beer. Thanks, serious answers please!